Wednesday, June 8, 2011

the oogy dance

So, I have a new old car. This car has a sunroof. I've never had a sunroof before, therefore I forget and leave it open all the time. Thus, things can get in at will. Rain, leaves, etc. I have explained all this since the etc is the problem. I was driving to work and to get the kids from the ex, and I felt what I thought was a lock of hair across my forehead. In a natural gesture, I brushed it away, and for a split second I thought my hair had fallen out. Then I realized what I was clutching was not my prized mane, althought that might have been an improvement. Oh no, in my hand sat a wolf spider. Now, I have an unnatural fear of spiders in hair due to an incident as a teen, so I did what anyone else would do. I slammed on the E-brake and took my foot off the clutch, and before the car even stopped bucking I had thrown myself out of the car in a desperate manuever that probably should have involved helmets and landing gear, and proceeded with the screaming, hair tearing hysterics. The spider had sensibly long since fled. Mid-fit, I realize I am blocking traffic at a 4-way stop sign in a fucking school zone. There must have been 50 people watching, gape-mouthed, as I danced around rending my hair. I did what seemed senseable and took a bow, re-entered the car, and continued on. Oh, and I havebeen closing the sunroof.